Why I love what I do now #truestorybro | Eeked

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Many people have been asking me what I do for a living and I'm not surprised. I usually commit myself to a lot of things and even now, I can't name one thing that I do as a main. So to answer your questions, I'm a Social Media Strategist in a digital agency somewhere in the middle of KL; so yes, I drive down to KL every single morning and it's like a 1.5 hour journey during peak hours. It's alright if you've not heard about the occupation, because trust me, I was clueless as well when I first graduated. Initially, I thought a social media strategist has the easiest job scope and I was telling myself "who the heck needs to hire a social media strategist when all they do is just upload pictures and .. yeah". Apparently ever since I started working here, I realised that there ARE so many clients out there who need this assistance. Either they don't know what works for the social media, they don't know how to boost up their engagement and exposure, or they just don't have all the time in the world to do all this. Hence, this is where people like me come into the picture. My job scope requires me to manage social media platforms, making sure that the Facebook cover photo is always updated, sorting out monthly social calendars, to brainstorm creative/suitable social media campaigns to engage their targeted audience and to organise/direct photoshoots. That's the nicer side of the story. The other side of the story includes buying roses and macarons for shoots when you have no freaking time in the world and spam calling super uncontactable bloggers making sure they write something nice about the products because some of them take the products and go MIA after that. 

Before settling down to this, I've been really lost for a couple of months and I've been signed to 2 companies in just a span of 3 months. I was doing client servicing back then for an F&B brand and it was horrible, I came home crying every single damn day. And even today, I have a mixed feeling about it. I learned quite a bit, but a part of me feels that I didn't need to go through all that emotions to learn all that I realised I've learned today. 

So now we've come to the main part of the post, initially when I was thinking about writing this, I didn't want to dedicate this whole post to the guy that made me feel like dying (literally). I wanted it to be a lil less angry and more like an introductory, peaceful, biodata-type of entry. But, since I'm now in a better place, I think it is time to recap and share them to the world. 

I remember every single sentence he said about what I did wrong, I remember his gelled hair that was acceptable at first but later on after a while of torture, they gave me goosebumps. I remember how he usually go for light coloured shirts and I try to compliment him for the sake of complimenting (even when I don't actually mean them) but he'll give me a come back like as if I've insulted him terribly. I remember how I tried to ask him if he's hungry because there was a time he asked why didn't people ask him out for lunch. I was nice to him only because I wish one day he'll be at least nicer to me and talk to me like a normal person, not a dog.... Also because he was my boss. 

Writing this is making me cry a little because I remember how horrible it felt when I can remember his footsteps and how he'll start his sentences with the word, "LISTEN" and followed by something terribly hurtful after that. 

Let me go bitchy on him, ok?

Let's call him, PEN. 

Pen is a 40+ (close to 50) year old man who pairs ugly Lee jeans with Crocodile shirts. Drives a Myvi. Divorced. LOVES bragging about that time he was working Macao for 5 years (as what? I don't know). He has a bad impression of GEN-Ys and claim that he can never get along with them, and categorise me as one of them. Before I go on blabbing, I'm totally fine in general with men described like the above, but this guy, he is something wayyyyyyyyyy different. 

He claimed a lot of things and some things that he USED to have...

1. Once, a colleague's old Mercedes broke down and PEN told the colleague that he USED to drive a Mercedes too, he was also thinking about buying one next week. A week later, the colleague asked PEN if he bought his Mercedes, he said "Oh no la, the salesman changed the appointment." Today, he drives a Myvi. 

Another colleague once asked PEN casually why does he drives a Myvi, he then answered, "Oh no la, this is my father's car." In my mind I was like, "If it's your father's car, and you bought this car for him, then why are you driving it to work everyday? Then what car your father use?" 

2. BACK IN MACAO (what he uses when he begins his bragging stories that nobody gives a shit about), he used to plan campaigns for 25 casinos worldwide and a whole lot of other overly exaggerated things I didn't bother remembering. Today, he was a director of my department, managing only 4 girls who were doing more work than him. And our team only managed 1 client in 1 country. Plus, he NEVER stay late, he'd be gone by 6pm. 

3. Many times, he says "I am NEVER late." and he made me drive him to the meeting from office all the time and we were supposed to meet up at 8am every time so I can pick him up, and it never happen because he's always late and I ended up driving to the meeting myself. Then a few days later, he'd plan who should drive to the meeting and he made me drive, because his reason would be "Oh, what car do you drive? I've never sat in your car." BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING LATE ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME!!! 

4. There was a time when we were eating at a bar, and they were playing an old song. Then PEN said to the table of 4, "I bet you guys don't know what song this is. This song was famous BACKKKKK IN my days........ I love jazz... I have a good taste in music, I reckon..." Then, one stupid colleague asked him, "So what instrument do you play?" "Oh, I play the guitar...... (he paused)... self taught.. and a little bit of piano." I just kept quiet because MAN, ARE YOU CLAIMING ALL THAT TO  A PERFORMER/SINGER SITTING RIGHT HERE? He doesn't even know who the hell is he speaking to. I perform in musicals and was in an A cappella team, and I get paid for that shit. I was in a band and have been trained to be on stage ever since I was 8 years old. Do you see me going around bragging about my fantastic skills? No. (but now ya'll know). 

I don't only hate him for his ego. I hate him because of his ego AND that he made me feel like I'm the most horrible existing human being in the entire world. 

Here are some scenarios: 

There was this one time I sent an email to the clients with a smiley face at the end of my email. It was already 6.30pm and he never stay late, NEVER. Even my GM stays till 9pm, oh I forgot to add, he is much older than my GM (his boss). He called me the phone after receiving that email when he was driving and in exact words, he said, "Felicia, LISTEN, we are no longer in college, you are no longer a teenager, you need to be more mature in your emails and I am not going to teach you how to write your emails, STOP WITH YOUR STUPID SMILEY FACES." 

To add, he did the same exact thing when I started an email with a "Hi" without noting to whom I am referring to. It was by accident and he expects me to write "Hi all/ Hi Jess/ Hi Eden" instead of just Hi.

- please judge this situation - 

Once, my colleague, PEN and I were supposed to meet up at the office at 8am and my colleague told me to reach at 8.15am, and I arrived at 8.10am. When I arrived, I saw them both were waiting for me at the lobby. Without even a hello. He walked to me and shouted "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" and he snatched the artwork that I was holding on my hands and shouted "DO NOT FOLD THE ARTWORK". In my defense, it wasn't a final artwork that was printed in a nice paper. It was a normal A3 paper draft and since it was so big, I held the both ends of the papers together because I only had one hand to hold them because I had my laptop on the other hand. I wasn't FOLDING IT. Then, he angrily shouted at me because I didn't cover the artwork properly to keep it confidential (????????), I was never told to cover my artwork before, it was the first time I've heard it when he told me. So, never mind, I tahan. Then, in the car, he added in exact words, "Felicia, number 1 lesson to being an AE, treat your artwork like GOLD. When I was an AE, I remember how much we treasure artworks... blah blah." I was holding back my tears... at like 8.30am in the morning. 

He was only angry because I came 5 minutes later than him. He was late and never showed up when I waited for him 30 minutes all the time and he never apologised. 

I also had a colleague back then whom I trusted and told her that I was going to resign and told her that I got an offer somewhere else. I went to Melbourne for 2 weeks after I resigned to my GM and never thought it was necessary for me to tell PEN because I just don't want to speak to him. 2 weeks later, the first thing he said to me when he came into the office was "So when is your first day at ______?" I answered, "huh?". Because to be fair, I didn't accept anything, it was an offer. Then he said, "Felicia, LISTEN, this is a small industry and you can't run away." Was he trying to threaten me?? Plus, who nobody cares if I leave one company after working for 2 months, I was just an AE, not a Creative Director. Who the heck knows who felicia is? 

Oh. One more thing. 
I had to reveal this secret that I know I would've been fired if I said it back then especially in written form but since I'm no where to be found close to that industry, I NEED to say this. When I was having a chat with my GM who was a man I truly respect even till today, I couldn't help but I cried in front of him during that discussion because PEN was shouting at me for the smallest of things and I was just super depressed. My GM apparently told me that he doesn't like PEN anyway and actually requested him to leave the company on the exact same day I was having that discussion with my GM. But of course he found PEN another job. That was before I flew to Melbourne for my holiday. When I came back, I heard from my colleagues that he resigned. I was surprised because I know that he didn't resign, he was asked to leave. Apparently later on I found out that he went on telling the whole world that "He is leaving for the better. Better pay somewhere else." 


I was so battled down and angry because I couldn't say anything, and I didn't, until today. Apparently later on I heard from my colleague and she said I quote, "He doesn't even need this job, he has many investments and he does a lot of other stuff too, so he really earns a lot." I asked her, "How you know?". She said, "He told us the other day."

First of all, how did that conversation even came about? I can't even imagine how this conversation came about without sounding like it's a big fat lie. Come on, if you are earning A LOT, you wouldn't be here in the first place. You definitely wouldn't be staying with your parents at the age of 40, you wouldn't be driving a Myvi let alone your father's car, you wouldn't be taking care of 4 girls who services the worst possible clients on earth. 

I'm sorry, for those who actually believed in what he claimed needs a piece of what I like to call, common sense. Even if I don't hate him, I would've thought he is INSANE. 

Till today, every single time I drive pass my old office building (that is, every single working day), I can't help but to have all these sentences that he said to me flashing into my head which never fail to make me feel super battled down. I hate him so much, I genuinely hate him till I was SO tempted to break his car windows on my last day of work and I actually drew my master plan on a sheet of paper the day before. I planned which lift to take to not get noticed, I planned where he parked his car, I planned what to wear and what time to do it, I planned the exact line I was going to say if he freaked out and asked around. But I guess I chickened out. I truly hate him, I hate him so much that every time the pastor asks me to forgive my enemies I said no. lol. 

Hence, that is why I always tell my current colleagues how happy I am working here. And even when I'm facing so much pressure at work, I look back to the days when my boss used to give me no support, never trusted me, blame me in front of my clients when he was the one that made the mistakes. When I look back to those, I know how to love my current job even more. I am at a much better place; doing the things I'm actually good and passionate at, doing the things I love and don't mind doing even if I don't get paid. Then, I'll ask myself where could this man be? Still living with his parents? Probably. Found someone else to shout at? Possibly. Died? If only. Paralysed? Hopefully. 

I know I sound so cruel but trust me, EVERYONE tells me I'm usually calm, peaceful and almost nothing can trigger my emotions. But hey, when I'm being criticised and disrespected for a whole month, 30 freaking days, that's my damn limit. And every time I come home crying and feeling like I need to end my life, I'll remember.... every single thing that whoever did to me and I'll wait for that day I see karma happen to him. 

So, if you're reading this. Reflect on how you treat the people who works under you. I'm not saying that you are not allowed to scold, I'm saying why not be a little more human and teach, be an example. Instead of unreasonably giving shit? 

That is all. I hope you enjoyed a piece of my mind.